Competing is NOT a team sport!

I feel it is very important for a competitor to know that preparing for a competition can be a very lonely road.

Most people will not understand what hard work, dedication and most of all sacrifice you have to go through. You will feel isolated and alone. Even if you are working with a trainer, in group training or with a partner that is only an hour or two a day. The real work happens when you are at home, work and just going about your daily life. I have always had such great respect for mothers, I complain but I know they have it the toughest.

You are filled with doubt... Are you going to be ready in time. You are filled with resent for your friends and spouse.... You feel like everyone is having fun except you. People around you will say you can have one bite and one cheat meal wont hurt you. It WILL... No one will understand why you would put yourself through this. You are moody, emotional and seem to be hungry and tired all the time. It just gets harder, you cut calories but the workouts get harder. You are constantly peeing. Waking up hungry and thinking about food.

It is very important to know all of this before deciding to compete. You have to train your mind to think about everything differently. You will need to be your number 1 fan and motivation.

Never lose hope. I have found that taking weekly pictures will help you see your progress. Keep practicing your routine over and over again. The shoes aren't the easiest to walk in, wear them as much as possible, get them to take the shape of your feet so they fit like a glove.  The fun begins when you pick out your suit and get your spray tan. All the pieces come together. The night before the show you are nervous, anxious and might not even sleep. When you go to check in you will be sizing yourself up against other girls. DONT!!! Back stage there is so much going on. Everyone seems to be running around like headless chickens, fighting over weights to pump up with. Just remember everyone has depleted and just a nervous as you. Be patient. A good idea would is to listen to your ipod with a playlist of your favorite up beat songs, this will also help you not listen to anyone else or negativity.

Now the moment of truth. You are in line waiting to hit the stage. Just breath and DONT rush. Take your time on stage, this is your moment, time to show off all your hard work. Smile and most of all have fun!!!! I get such a rush from being on stage. My first show I paced back stage, put my lip gloss on a million times, but the second I hit that stage I shined. When I walked off stage I couldn't wait for the night show to do it all over again. My competitions are by far the greatest achievements I have.

Good Luck stay focused and no matter what.... DON'T GIVE UP!!!!

I am open to any comments, questions & advice.

Las Vegas Classic

The Las Vegas Classic is going to be huge this year I can feel it. I did my first bikini contest in Nov 2010 and won first place at the Las Vegas Classic in Bikini Division Class C. Now as some might think this is an awesome achievement it seriously might have been one of the worst punishments I could have given myself. I have so much to live up and when I don't well it kills me and I learned this the hard way when I entered the Nevada State Championships in Reno, June 2011 and came 4th. What in the world is 4th??? Major let down on my ego and now I feel I have to work harder to redeem myself.

I am 66 days out to my next show and need a miracle if I'm going to make it. Sure I can enter but I dont enter for fun, I enter to win! This show will help me decide if I am going to continue competing or not. I had qualified for USA Nationals after my first win but wasn't able to enter since I wasn't a US Citizen this was another blow which I am still bitter about.

My advice to any one who is thinking about competing is you need to know this can either make you or break you. I feel my body is amazing compared to how I was standing at 153lbs. I had a 37lbs weight loss for my first show and I felt like a million bucks. You become obsessed with your competition body, body fat and dress size. I wore size 3 Jeans I was like WOW!! I was down to 117lbs and I am 5'5 which wasn't very healthy but for once I was like look at me I'm skinny. Ever since then I have battled to love myself, after each show I blew up and was miserable. I am not genetically blessed and my body sucks up fat and carbs as if I am going into hibernation. Its an awesome experience to be on stage with a bright spot light on you and to know you have earned every second on that stage. I just advise everyone to know that there is a chance you will go back to your old eating habits, I know people who are in worse shape after a show than when they initially started. Its hard and its no fairy tale ending... I just wish I knew then what I know now.

I am open to any questions, comments and advice. That was a lot for me to admit and I hope I have not offended anyone or the fitness industry...

Hope you all keep up the good work and remember it has to be a lifestyle and there is NOT a quick fix!!!!